Plans
by 9r7g5h
Summary: Xena always had a plan. But sometimes? Sometimes they were just plain strange.


**AN:** I'm trying to get back into a normal schedule, after moving and everything knocked me out of one. So, part of that is writing each night. I'm not feeling my long fics at the moment, so for now I'm doing some short little things based off random prompts I found online. Enjoy!

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Xena.

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Xena always had a plan. Generally they were good ones, almost always guaranteed to work (if with a bit of shifting half way through to make sure they did). Sometimes they weren't on par with the others, only just scraping by by the skin of their teeth, the luck of the gods, and Xena's ability to turn almost any losing situation into a win. Some of them were brilliant, as if Athena herself had whispered into her ears the winning combination.

But some of them? Some of them were just plain strange.

"Xena," Gabrielle finally found herself able to ask, her cheeks flared red and her eyes fixed firmly on the sky, "why are there so many naked men in our front yard?"

For four months now they had been staying in the cottage, taking a well-earned rest while waiting for winter to pass. Normally they would have gone south, following the seasons to avoid the worst of the cold. But one of Xena's old friends had asked for her help, taking them northward to find and dispose of the creature -something Gabrielle had to imagine was related to the Nemean lion, its fur had been so tough, almost impenetrable. They had found it, eventually, after weeks of searching for the cat-like thing, but by then it had been too late to head south. Doing so would have risked getting trapped in the mountain path by a blizzard, and while Xena was more than willing to stand against anything, even she wasn't willing to fight against the weather itself.

So, they had taken the village up on its offer of using one of the newly built but as of yet uninhabited homes to pass the season, for once in their life settling down for more than a week.

It had been strange. Between the two of them spending the calmer winter days hunting for food and to trade the furs for whatever they couldn't buy and the clearer winter nights in the tavern, enjoying the villager's company and earning a few dinars here and there with a tale or two, it was almost like they had a life there. A taste of something stable, something permanent. Something they could possibly build upon.

Casually, they had talked about staying. Xena had mentioned that, come spring, hunting would be easier, and the tanner, able to get his goods out to the nearest large city to sell, would probably pay more for quality furs. Gabrielle had brought up the possibility of regular performances in the tavern, bringing a steady income. They had talked about getting some real furniture beyond the bed and large fireplace rug they currently had, about possibly breeding Argo, about something settled.

It had been casual, off handed comments that had been woven together to create something similar to a conversation. Nothing real or binding, nothing true, but still the words had been said as the winter nights had passed.

But spring had come, and if the dozen or so naked men milling about in their front yard was any indication, they would stay just that- words. Because this entire scene just reeked of one of Xena's hair brained schemed, and if Xena was scheming, that meant any hope of something settled had just been tossed right out the window.

"Remember that rumor about that cult that's causing trouble, two towns over," Xena asked as she walked among the men, a bowl filled with crushed berried in one hand as she painted the image of trees onto each bare chest. "Well, I looked into it, and apparently it's one of Pan's. Now, normally, cults of Pan don't spend much time near civilization, preferring the wild and all. But for some reason this one is, and I want to know why."

"And the many naked men are here because..."

"Because cults of Pan are 'men only,'" Xena explained, pausing for a moment to look at the tree she had been painting, her head tilted to the side. Eyeing the man she was drawing on up and down, she added a few more crude leaves to the branches before moving onto the next. "These guys here have agreed to help us get close, under the guise that they're a southern sect of the cult come to visit their northern brothers. Mind if I..." Turning her attention towards the man standing for her, she waited until he nodded to use her forearm to lift his breast so she could swipe a tree branch under it, quickly doing the same to the other half of his torso so the even branches curled around him. "They're going to keep the others distracted while we follow the leader and try to figure out why the cult decided to start harassing their normally peaceful neighbors."

Nodding slowly, Gabrielle had to admit that it was a decent plan. She had only read about the Cults of Pan, but the books had been descriptive. The arrive of another sect would initiate a feast from the hosts, welcoming them into their forests. And the arrival of spring would set off a series of rituals to welcome Pan back from his yearly sleep, a sleep so closely dependent upon Persephone's return. Not only would it give the town a break while the ceremonies were progressing, it would also be enough of a distraction for them to get down to the bottom of this.

And, of course, with the cult's rejection of anything not found in nature, including clothing, the many naked men in her front yard made sense.

"But really Xena," Gabrielle asked with a sigh, finally looking at the scene before them. Catching sight of another bowl of crushed berries that had been set off to the side, Gabrielle picked it up before joining Xena, painting another version of the tree- an oak, if she was guessing correctly, though Xena's art skills had never quite been something to brag about- across their backs. "In the front yard?"

Pausing, Xena looked over and raised her eyebrow, giving Gabrielle that look.

"Did you want them all in the kitchen when you woke up?"

The grumbling as Gabrielle worked was her answer, an answer Xena couldn't help but laugh at as they finished their work, decorating the men to look like members of Pan's cult.

This was only part one of her plan. Wait until Gabrielle found out about part two.


End file.
